Jonah Hill

I was going to the beach with my girlfriend's family. They're all really big into soccer and her brother was this soccer superstar. And I'm hanging out at the beach with all these jocks and then there's me. I know nothing about sports. I don't even know what a sport is. I have to confess that I'm a little afraid of birds. I am...whatever. So we're sitting on the beach and this bird flies toward me and all I could say was 'Pleaaaase!' Like 'Please don't hurt me,' 'Please don't fly in my direction?' I don't know. And everyone cracked up and was doing impressions of it the whole rest of the day.

It's harder to be funny if you're handsome than if you're very normal-looking. It's just more relatable. You're the underdog. I mean it's funny to see people struggle, and you don't buy that Brad Pitt is struggling, you know that guy could be the most skill-less guy in the world, but if you look like that you will be fine for the rest of your life.

[on Henry Winkler and their family at Zoe Winkler's wedding] I spent 48 percent of my youth here..They were like parents to all of our friends. We got parents and then we got the Winklers. I feel like my sister's getting married.

I despise common people. They make me throw up.

It wasn't the baseball or the numbers I connected to. It was the obsessiveness. Bennett [Miller] said that the way we talk about actors and roles and movies with each other is the way my character should be able to talk to Brad's about baseball. It's what we do all the time about movies-we analytically shit-talk everybody's strengths and weaknesses! Everybody I know does that. So that was my in.

My heroes are Bill Murray and Dustin Hoffman. Those are the two actors that both do comedies and dramas, seamlessly. Also John C. Reilly and Philip Seymour Hoffman. They're all just great actors, neither comedic nor dramatic. They're just great actors.

The Kardashians are as famous as our president. What does that tell you about how skewed our society is? ... The truth of it is, I have friends who work in TV and the Kardashians get higher ratings than their TV shows. Shows that people actually work hard on - writing and creating and trying to tell stories. The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like Mad Men (2007) is disgusting. [laughs] It's a super disgusting part of our culture, but I still find it funny to make a joke about it. Whenever I say I like reality TV, people write about it like they're in shock. I can't even understand it, so I watch it. I think it's funny and I definitely enjoy it in a making-fun-of-it sort of way, but where does the line sort of end? When do I stop making fun of it and become an actual fan?

[re his distinctive look in The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)] I don't want to give the teeth 100 percent credit, but I'll give them their fair share.

[on the death of James Gandolfini] I'm truly heartbroken to hear that James Gandolfini has passed away. He is one of my all time favorite actors. Tragic loss.

Martin Scorsese is my favorite filmmaker of all time. I would paint his house if he asked me to.

I think I'm pretty good at being in movies, I am not good at being a famous person.

[on playing Schmidt in 22 Jump Street (2014)] I felt creatively inspired to think of the clumsy way to do a stunt. There was some creative puzzling: How can I completely mess that up?

[on taking a pay cut to work on The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)] It's not about money for me. None of this s*** is about money. I would sell my house and give him all my money to work for (director Martin Scorsese) ... I would have done anything in the world. I would do it again in a second.